"The appearance of things varies according to emotions; and so we see magic and beauty in them, but, in reality, magic and beauty are in us."
Kahlil Gibran
Summer 2016, I am in Provence, more precisely Plateau de Valensole.
I am in the middle of the most iconic lavender field the one you see in all the publicity photos, endless rows of violet flowers sinuously follow the contours of the ground until they culminate under three trees that seem to have been planted there for the photographers' delight.
Surrounded by an infinite number of bees, quietly feasting, and a scent of lavender so intense as to be almost annoying, with my tripod firmly planted on the ground and my camera at the ready, I find myself going through one of the most frustrating moments of my photographic career.
After more than two hours spent shooting, I still cannot manage to take the perfect photo, the one I had had in mind in the previous days, the one that, once posted on Facebook, would get me thousands of likes.
I am lost among the thousands of different possible combinations that the camera allows me, in a frantic search to correctly capture the light that changes every minute.
I feel frustrated, at first a feeling of anxiety, then dissatisfaction, then my judge finally takes inner courage and strength by insisting that I am actually not that good at photography, and I start to feel angry that I am not succeeding in what was my goal:
To take the most beautiful photograph ever taken of a lavender field:
a bit ambitious as a goal, no?
In the grip of this whirlwind of emotions, an inner force came to the surface to tell me STOP,
Stop Riccardo, what are you doing?
Is it really worth feeling so bad for a failed photo?
What is the real reason that brought you to this place?
Why are you so focused on succeeding in your shot and can't take advantage of the moment you are taking it?
Breathe, lift your eyes from the screen of your camera and look around, you are in Provence, in a lavender field at 8pm on a warm June day the sun sets behind the clouds a light breeze caresses your skin, bringing with it the soothing scent of lavender flowers
You are doing what you love most, photographing, and yet you fail to take advantage of this moment.
Are you sure photography is so good for you?
Because it doesn't seem too good to me.
Actually that moment was just the tip of the iceberg of a difficult time I had been going through for some time and photography was not the only thing that was not going well.
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